you go back and face your previous work
you wanna get rid of if because of all the godamn cheeseyness you find in past
states of mind::: things you want to re-edit and polish
but you have to respect what you wanted and where you were...
but you cant be so fake to yourself; so phony to your own unsophistication.
somedays you wanna place a digital bomb on your blog - the kind that self destructs after 5 seconds:: wiping off every effort you've made in whatever state you where when you got around to sitting down.
i have 30% of a migrane lingering around at 2h44 am - unattending calls and avoiding social confrontation...
and about 85% of me is "i don't give a shit" regarding my social life or party friends
you apply your time and it's scattered into pointless drinking with hungover decisions
that never end up satisfying .
someone told me today that in the future
that I was going to die alone with no friends
"i hope you can have dogs in flats by then. many dogs."
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